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my life

is a perpetual quest for beauty.

12 August
External Services:
  • pandano@livejournal.com
Yep. LJ Loyalist returns, dissatisfied with the much overrated though still useful in its own way "popular bitch" of the blogging world - MySpace.


Everyone has a different idea of what life should be like and what it means to really live.

Walk your own, and get out of my way.

I am overly dramatic, self absorbed, domineering, idealistic, and often vain.
I appreciate both simplicity and chaos and love neither one more than the other.
They're just flip sides of the same coin - mirror images, so to speak.
Both necessary. Both beautiful.
I'm naive, headstrong, overconfident, and allowed to be all of these things because I am young.
I depend on others and like to think and act as if I do not.
I despise being proven wrong and generally am not open to the possibility.
I am rather obsessed with individuality, particularly my own.
As such I enjoy talking about myself immensely and often think my opinions are more developed and unique than they really are.
This all ties back into the "self absorbed" thing.
I am socially awkward and talented in almost equal measure, with a leaning towards the awkward side.
In fact, my saving grace in this respect appears to be that often people find themselves liking me inexplicably and against all logic and reason.
I like to call this "charm."
But then, that may only be because all my life, I've wanted to be called "charming."
Since that hasn't happened yet, and I'm tired of waiting, I'm doing it myself.
I often take myself too seriously, or rather I appear to, but I hope that those who know me can tell the difference.

I am lustful and proud.
I like guys and girls.

I am generous, adventurous, intelligent, wild.
To a precious few I am hopelessly loyal and loving. My family, my girls, select infatuations. This has screwed me over repeatedly.
But not half so often as it has rewarded me.
My goal is the untamed life.
I am aware, and enchanted.
I am a pagan. I respect and cherish all life, and try to live in love.
I appreciate beauty, and subtlety, and delicacy.
I am forever seeking it in all places, and all people, including the unlikely.
I always find it.
I am emotional. I believe in many things I cannot see.
I am passionate, dedicated, motivated, independent, free-spirited.
Wheresoever I go, I go with all my heart.

I believe that the key to leading a charmed life lies in finding the balance between how much of your own life you decide upon, and how much you leave to hance. Also, in being constantly ready and thoroughly willing to risk everything. This is rather eerie, as I just found a striking resemblence to these words within the pages of an "Anthropologie" catalog. With an image of a woman flouncing down a hallway in an offensively colorful dress.

...It was my idea first. I swear it.

I love to ride horses through the woods and fields barefoot.
I love to laugh with friends and cry at movies.
I love nighttime and when things happen too fast.

I am an artist.
Rather, I will be. Mark my words!

I am actually arrogant enough to believe that I deserve a full-time scribe.

My heart belongs to the wild Sea.

...Oh yeah, and I have a (very) soft spot for all things Gothic.
Goth girls are sexy in the extreme.
And black is simply the best color there is. All-encompassing, satisfyingly depressing, and (let's face it), hot as Hell.
anthropologie, art, art in all forms, asian cultures, aura pictures, beauty in unlikely places, beltane, black eyeliner, blood, bondage, bonfires, broken-in clothes, carnelian, cats, china, chocolate, corsets, cuddling, darkwave music, day trips, delerium, desire, destiny, devotion, discovery, divinity, djarum black cloves, dominance, doves, electronic music, erotica, eternity, european cultures, faeries, fantasy stories, finding my balance, full moons, glamourbombing, going for walks, gothic music and fashion, grace, henna painting, herb gardens, honey, horseback riding, horses, idealism, incense, india, indie music, industrial music, ireland, japan, kinkiness, kiwis, lace, lemon meringue pie, long jackets, long skirts, lotus flowers, love, magic, make-believe, marrakech, medieval culture/history, metaphysical studies, more art, morocco, music, mythology, nighttime, nin, ocean, paganism, pandas, paper cranes, parties!, passion, peace, peaches, peppermint stick ice cream, petticoats, photography, piercings, poetry, prose, questions, rain, rapture, raspberries, rave culture, red bull, red wine, religion and philosophy, rosemary, roses, sensuality, sex, sexuality, snakes, sorrow, split souls, spontaniety, starborn, strange dreams, strawberries, submission, summertime, surprises, surreal song lyrics, swimming in the ocean, tattoos, tea, temptation, the beach at night, the fae, the sea, the sound of bells, the tides, tidal rhythms, time and memory, travel, trippy animated movies, twilight, unique beauty, victorian-era lore/romance/fashion/etcetera, voluspa, waves, white tea and ginger, wickedness, wildness, wisdom, wonder, words, writing